Dr. Jenlove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Fail

(Note to my WordPress followers: this is based on a Twitter conversation with @GameplayJenny, so it might be a little strange out of context – or in context, for that matter.)

Welcome, viewer. You have entered the YouTube channel of GameplayJenny. Your place at the Mad Hatter’s table has been set.

You may be disoriented right now. What is a GameplayJenny, you might ask. How did I end up here? And what is behind her obsession with cheese? Do not fret, viewer. That is why this guide has been created – to orient the new viewer to the unique world that is Jenny.

The first step to acclimatizing yourself to the Wonderland that is GameplayJenny’s channel is to unlearn what you have learned. Do not think in terms of efficient leveling, equipping a character in gear that has the best stats, making sensible roads that don’t meander worse than San Francisco’s Lombard Street only to end up at a dead end. Upgraded spells? Those are for suckers. Maximizing the resources in a city? Not when more posh places and giant spinning hamburgers can be erected. Healing crippled limbs? There’s a guy hanging on a cross that needs to be looted first—after he is discreetly knocked unconscious, of course. You’re in Jenny’s world now, and it’s always 6:00. Now wake up the dormouse because it’s time to switch seats.

Next is learning to see the world through Jenny-colored glasses. Has Jenny just dropped some valuable ebony armor on the ground to make room for cabbage? Has she “wasted” a bunch of time picking mushrooms she’ll never use in a potion on her way to confront a dragon priest? Does she place a water tower on a space with no water in SimCity just because it goes better beside the powdered milk factory? Don’t focus on what the game mechanics demand, focus on what Jenny demands. Then enjoy the show as a robe-wearing Jenny shouts Kyne’s Peace at a dragon while shoving 50 bowls of apple cabbage stew down her gullet as she tries to defeat it with a spork in one hand and the spell Flames in the other.

Do not worry if the path to Jenny bliss is difficult. Be patient, and watch the videos nonetheless. Before you know it the barriers of sensibility and logic will fall to the wild and wacky antics of the Mad Gamer herself, and you may just find yourself getting upset when she fails to notice a perfectly good set of calipers lying on a table in Oblivion, or crafts enough potions to keep her from having to eat the entire cheese aisle of a grocery store just to stay alive in Skyrim, or actually finishes a quest in Fallout: New Vegas instead of blindly wandering into a deathclaw den, or makes a freaking straight road in Bendypondtacoville. When you arrive at that point, congratulations. Your Alice has become the March Hare, and there’s no getting out of the rabbit hole.